Generation Chai

Overhead in church this morning

Parent: Sshhh! The pastor is praying.
Child: I Don't Care!!!

Overhead in Starbucks after church

Parent: They're out of chai, so you're getting a hot chocolate.
Four-year-old: I don't LIKE hot chocolate!

What four-year-old prefers spicy tea to hot chocolate? All I know is we're glad we have stock in Starbucks!

New Sox

1. I find it strangely exciting to purchase and wear new athletic socks. I always get the ones that hit below your ankles. I have two new pairs, and they have little clocks on them. I suppose the clock is supposed to inspire me to run faster.

Even more ridiculous: Last Thursday while at work, all I wanted to be doing was running. I'm training for a triatholon in May (a baby one), and I'm working up to running for 30 minutes straight. Right now I walk and run. It is strangely satisfying. I can't believe I'm looking forward to running. I hope that works for me the day of the race. I imagine it will be quite hard to look forward to running after swimming and biking.

2. Summer really is coming. The Sox opened the season today! Granted, it was a dismal performance. Really Schilling, only 4 innings? Against the Royals? Although if anyone is due, it's KC. But 7-1?

Regardless, I was really excited. I missed you New England Sports Network and your Aflac commericals! I can't wait until my lawn looks more like the infield and less like hay. My crocuses did pop up this weekend.

Hope springs eternal.

Three for Two

I've spent the past two weeks or so in Texas. Thanks to my fabulous boss, I got to stay in Houston and work from my parents' house between a bachelorette party and the accompanying wedding.

Texas and my parents provided me with the following three items:

1. Vietnamese food has come to the suburbs. As I was noting the new businesses on one of the roads near my parents' house, I spotted Pho King. I said the name aloud. That's when I realized either the owners are making fun of Americans, or they're clueless about English.

"Pho" in Vietnamese is said f-uh, not faux as many people think. So Pho King sounds like ... well, the participial form of an indelicate verb. How's that for a grammatical innuendo?

2. Parents say the darndest things. The conversation turned to politics one night last week. My parents and I don't see eye to eye when it comes to politics. They assume I'm a "damn liberal" now that I'm in Boston. They don't understand that I didn't agree with them about politics while I lived in the great state of Texas.

Anyway, our talk turned to the 2008 presidential candidates. And my mother said:

"What do you think about that black guy, Obama bin Laden?"

She claims she said it on purpose. I guess I embarrassed her with my unbridled laughter.

3. I saw a modern version of a Texas stereotype. I was stopped at a light on FM 1960. That's Farm-to-Market 1960 for you non-Texans. Despite being a "farm" road, FM 1960 is a major thoroughfare and has six lanes.

So as I was waiting, three people on horseback crossed in front of me. One was a woman wearing a gigantic cowboy hat. It was hot-pink. So was her shirt. She was also talking on a cell phone!

Here's to a few more days of beautiful Texas weather and a fun wedding weekend in Austin!

Massholes

We saw Breach last night. It's the story of how the FBI caught Robert Hanssen, who was a big-time spy on the inside. He was arrested in 2001.

Most of the scenes were inside a federal office building where hallways and offices had portraits of the president and various cabinet members.

To show the passage of time, there was a scene in which the portraits of President Clinton and Janet Reno were replaced by W and John Ashcroft. And the audience groaned!

Not that I wasn't thinking the same thing, especially about Ashcroft (He loses to a dead guy and then gets a federal appointment?).

Gotta love Massachusetts!

Today

I ate Vietnamese food at Triumph Cafe.

I saw Kinky Friedman. He had the hat, the jacket AND the cigar.

I bought pink corduroy pants for $10.

I love Austin!

I DO exist!

Time goes by so quickly sometimes.

Last you left me, I was finishing up the wedding circuit and starting a new job.

The weddings all went well. It was wonderful to see my Mizzou girls twice in a short span. I miss you!

My job is great. I've been there four months now, and I'm really happy. I've been working REALLY hard since just before Christmas (like 60 plus hours a week hard), but it's right. I'm editing, managing, organizing and working with some great people. My boss is especially top notch. I even get to travel a little! So far I have been to NYC and Nashville. Later this month I'm in Austin, and eventually I will get to go to Chicago and Florida.

And I will not be working as much as I am all the time---so I'm told. I am slightly worried about this, but I trust my boss. For now I can handle it; the overtime pay is pretty great.

So there's the update. Now I will pass on an absurdity that I heard uttered by a city bus driver:

"You people are so ARROGANT! You're just arrogant. No wonder us drivers are in such bad moods all the time!"

This was in response to people with passes flashing them instead of waiting behind the man putting his $2 fare in the reader one nickel at a time.

Yes, Mr. Driver, those of us who take public transportation instead of driving are nothing but arrogant jerks.

While we're on absurdity, it was 71 degrees here last Saturday. Screw winter!

Shot Talk

Somehow we began discussing cooties over dinner with a group of friends last night. By cooties I mean those nebulous animals? insects? that kids accuse other kids of having. As in: Ew! He's got cooties! I think cooties might have originally referred to head lice, but that's not where I'm going with this.

The proper response to an accusation of having cooties is as follows: Circle, circle; dot, dot; now I've got my cootie shot (while drawing concentric circles on one's hand or upper arm and adding two dots in the middle, of course).

At the table last night were two Floridians, two Texans (guess which?) and two New Englanders. All Southerners related to the common cootie innoculation method. The New Englanders thought we were crazy! They had never heard of such antics. Either these two simply had no defense when confronted about cooties at recess, or New England elementary schoolers are just above such tomfoolery.

A cooties discussion always prompts me to bring up a language issue I have had with cooties since about third grade. In addition to the dot-dot method, the following was also used by the peers on my playground:

Circle, circle; knife, knife; now I have it all my life (the shot, that is). You would draw a knife (line) inside the circles this time, naturally.

I could not and still don't understand how I could be considered a cooties carrier if I had a shot that covers me for life in third grade!

I guess that's the trouble with imaginary shots. There's not scar to show that you're indeed protected.

Anyone else out there know of the knife-knife addendum? Brian thinks I made it up. I need some support to prove my case. Help me out all you pro-knifers!

A New One

All that and a piece of cheese. *

*Impact might vary if you don't have a crazy Boston accent.