Shot Talk

Somehow we began discussing cooties over dinner with a group of friends last night. By cooties I mean those nebulous animals? insects? that kids accuse other kids of having. As in: Ew! He's got cooties! I think cooties might have originally referred to head lice, but that's not where I'm going with this.

The proper response to an accusation of having cooties is as follows: Circle, circle; dot, dot; now I've got my cootie shot (while drawing concentric circles on one's hand or upper arm and adding two dots in the middle, of course).

At the table last night were two Floridians, two Texans (guess which?) and two New Englanders. All Southerners related to the common cootie innoculation method. The New Englanders thought we were crazy! They had never heard of such antics. Either these two simply had no defense when confronted about cooties at recess, or New England elementary schoolers are just above such tomfoolery.

A cooties discussion always prompts me to bring up a language issue I have had with cooties since about third grade. In addition to the dot-dot method, the following was also used by the peers on my playground:

Circle, circle; knife, knife; now I have it all my life (the shot, that is). You would draw a knife (line) inside the circles this time, naturally.

I could not and still don't understand how I could be considered a cooties carrier if I had a shot that covers me for life in third grade!

I guess that's the trouble with imaginary shots. There's not scar to show that you're indeed protected.

Anyone else out there know of the knife-knife addendum? Brian thinks I made it up. I need some support to prove my case. Help me out all you pro-knifers!