Lost

earrings recently lost while being worn: 3
months of said losing streak: 3
lost earrings that are turquoise: 2
states of the union I have been in during losses: 2
times I immediately realized the loss and attempted a search: 1
lost earrings that DO NOT perfectly match a necklace that isn't lost: 1
lost earrings that make a matched pair: 0
patience I have left for this trend: 0

If there's a pirate or someone else out there looking to start a stylish collection of single earrings, I can hook you up.

Maybe Peter SARsgaARd knows someone.

At least SNL seems to be making me laugh lately.